can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
