For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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