I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
