All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
