I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
