He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
