I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
