Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
do herpes really smell.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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