so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
