I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
