i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sext me about skeletons
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
