How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
