Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
