Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want her autograph on my taint
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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