The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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