So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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