I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
