Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
