South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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