I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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