We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
