dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
