i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
