What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
