I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
