Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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