If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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