i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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