I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize