i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
