Cold hands, warm shart.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
