so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
