no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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