I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize