We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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