help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
