it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
