ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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