party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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