I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
