i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
