theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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