i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
