who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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