So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
