whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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