Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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