He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
