OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
