Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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