just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
