Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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