I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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