i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
