New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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