My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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