tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
