I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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