He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
