just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
